Breaking Free from Perfectionism: A Trauma Therapist's Guide
Written by Christoffer Loderup, Therapist at Shade Tree Family Counseling
If you're reading this, I’m going to assume that you, or someone you love, are struggling with perfectionism. Perhaps you've tried various strategies to overcome perfectionism, but the old habits keep resurfacing.
What many people don’t realize is that perfectionism can often be rooted in unresolved trauma. Experiences from the past may have created a deep need for control, approval, or safety, leading to perfectionistic tendencies as a coping mechanism. Trauma therapy in Salt Lake City, UT can help by addressing these underlying issues, allowing you to heal and develop healthier, more compassionate ways of relating to yourself."
Why "Just Stopping" Doesn't Work
If you've tried to simply stop being a perfectionist or embrace imperfection, you're not alone. Many people with perfectionism have tried this approach, only to find that it's not enough.
The reason why "just stopping" doesn't work is that perfectionism is often trying to meet a deeper need. It might be trying to prove you’re valuable and worthy of love. Or your perfectionism could be striving to help you find happiness believing you’ll be happy “once things are perfect”. Trying to simply stop being perfect likely has not worked because that unmet need is still there.
Understanding Your Perfectionism
To truly overcome perfectionism, it's essential to understand its underlying motivations. Ask yourself, “If things were perfect…
What would that mean for me?
Would I finally feel valuable? Would I finally be happy?
What do I believe would happen if things were finally perfect?
Gaining a deeper understanding of your perfectionism’s motivations is an important first step in overcoming your perfectionism.
Have Compassion for Your Inner Perfectionist
As you get to know the part of you that wants things to be perfect, it's important to approach your perfectionism with compassion. Remember, it's trying to help you in its own way. If you’ve seen "Inside Out 2," remember near the end of the movie, Joy and the other emotions hug “Rylie’s” sense of self, and Joy is compassionate towards Anxiety. Your perfectionism is doing its best to help you. It deserves your love, compassion, and gratitude for its positive intent.
Healing the Underlying Trauma Wounds
Perfectionism often stems from underlying wounds or insecurities caused by trauma. In trauma therapy with the help of a skilled trauma therapist, we can work together to identify and heal these wounds. Healing these traumatic wounds may include learning to love and accept yourself. It may include working through traumatic experiences and giving yourself space to feel and be with your emotions to fully process them. By addressing your underlying wounds, you can break free from the need for perfection.
Ready to Break Free From Trauma and Perfectionism?
If you're ready to overcome perfectionism and live a more fulfilling life, I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Together at Shade Tree Family Counseling, we can explore your unique situation and develop a personalized plan to help you break free from the chains of perfectionism.
Navigate Perfectionism With The Help of Trauma Therapy in Salt Lake City, UT
Trauma therapy in Salt Lake City, UT, can help you break free from the grip of perfectionism by uncovering and healing the root causes. At Shade Tree Family Counseling, a compassionate trauma therapist will work with you to build healthier coping strategies and embrace self-acceptance. Begin your journey toward letting go of unrealistic standards and rediscovering peace within yourself. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if Trauma Therapy is right for you.
Begin meeting with a compassionate trauma therapist
Break free form the grip of perfectionism!
Other Services Offered at Shade Tree Family Counseling
At Shade Tree Family Counseling, we are here to help you and your family navigate the challenges you face together. So in addition to helping you work on coping with your perfectionism traits from trauma in Trauma Therapy, our team offers teen counseling for teens struggling to overcome depression, anxiety, family conflict, and more. We also provide Teen Group Therapy for teens looking for extra support from those their own age. For more about trauma therapy check out our blog!
